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The Seven Year Itch

Updated: Dec 13, 2022

The Seven Year Itch - is it real and what to do about it?

Everything old can be new again!

As people we love the ‘shiny and new,’ which is why we upgrade our cars on average every 6 years, TV’s every four years and for our Smartphones every two years.

When it comes to our relationships, psychotherapist and relationship counsellor Melissa Ferrari says that we are not so different and begin to think we may have an issue with our current model of partner, at around the 7-year mark.

As part of the segment Melissa explores what is often referred to as the ‘seven year itch.’ Which is in reality, a little more severe than an itch, as we begin to have thoughts of ‘I think I have had enough of you.’ With the driving force behind these thoughts being that you are finding your partner...

  • Boring

  • Predictable

  • Insufferable

Kids are neither the solution nor the cause, with these same thoughts kicking in, whether you have children or not.

Melissa says that the reason this begins to occur at the seven-year mark is because after an extended time together, you naturally start to take your partner for granted, with their idiosyncrasies, that you once found cute, becoming little more than an annoyance. You literally forget the things that attracted you together in the first place, with negativity and criticism a constant in the relationship, instead of support, positivity and love.

So, is the seven year ‘itch’ fatal to a relationship?

The good news is that the answer is ‘no’, but only if you work on the relationship, otherwise the resentment and loss of connection will grow, eventually ending your union.

Melissa’s tips for surviving the seven-year itch


  • Rediscover your partner – By making a conscious effort to re-connect by being curious as to who they are today, bringing back the intrigue

  • Get intimate – Lack of intimacy is the number one reason behind relationship breakdown, so spend time gazing into each other’s eyes, touching and of course other fun things!

  • Do new things together – Re-discover the fun by finding a new activity to do together, our brains love novelty, so by doing new things you will reignite interest in each other

  • Do things for each other – Like sending a cute text message, a love note in the lunch box, or simply put the lid back on the toothpaste, creating a constant positive in the relationship

  • Let it slide - Small irritations can grow into resentment, and by letting go of these annoyances you can diffuse the relationship time-bomb which is powered by this negativity

  • Plan the future - Working towards a future together is one of the best ways to make your partner feel secure - it can start small, like planning a weekend away, and if you have not chatted about the future, well today may be a great time to start!

For more tips, daily quotes and information about love, dating, relationships and happiness visit my Facebook page Melissa Ferrari - Psychotherapist & Relationship Expert. Also available is information about couple therapy and how it can help your relationships.


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