When you have been with your partner for a long time, it’s easy to take them for granted and even forget what attracted you to them in the first place.
Here are some simple tips to keep the love alive in your relationship:
1. Pay Attention
In the busy-ness of life, we can take each other for granted and yet we are all changing all the time. Make a conscious effort to re-connect with your partner and be curious as to whom they have become now. This can bring back the intrigue about their personality and it can help spark the passion and excitement once again.
2. The Eyes have it
Take the time to look into your partner’s eyes, after all, they are the same eyes belonging to the same person you fell in love with. When you pay close attention to your partner, when you stop and gaze into their eyes, you re-connect with them on an intimate level. While you gaze into your partner’s eyes, you can re-discover your partner all over again.
3. Have Fun Together
As we go through our daily lives, whether working outside the home, bringing up small children or moving into our later years, it is all too easy to get caught up in the routine of life. To connect with your partner, it’s important to spend time together away from the daily routine.
There is something to be said for having a regular ‘date night’ where you get dressed up and go out for dinner, or even share an activity such as a walk in the country or a bike-ride. Spending time together without having to achieve a goal, can help remind each of you why you fell in love in the first place. Getting to know each other again through sharing special moments together can bring back the aliveness in your relationship and help you feel close once more.
4. Collaborate
As well as time together, it’s important you each have your own time too, so you can fulfil your own needs. Collaborate on how much time you want to spend apart and how much time you want to spend together as a couple. Making agreements around time spent together and apart in your relationship helps your each feel your needs are respected and supported by your partner, creating safety and security within your relationship.
5. Don’t sweat the small stuff
Often when we have been together a long time, the small irritations and nuances can grow into big issues. Before long, resentment can set it. Yet by reconnecting and reacquainting with your partner, you can bring back the love. Paying attention to your partner in a loving way, on a moment-to-moment basis, can help re-ignite those positive feelings and so, just as in the early days, personal foibles and small irritations go unnoticed, or at least unheeded. Letting go of these small annoyances, not ‘feeding’ them, can diffuse negativity to create space and room to grow close together in a nurturing and supportive way.
For more tips, daily quotes and information about love, dating, relationships and happiness visit my Facebook page Melissa Ferrari - Psychotherapist & Relationship Expert. Also available is information about couple therapy and how it can help your relationships.